Bad Language

I’m sure pretty well everyone has linguistic pet peeves and which ones bother you can tell people something about the way you think. How picky and self-superior you are. You can find these lists online but I thought I’d make my own.

1. … so… (not meaning therefore or to a great extent). I tried a few months ago to quit starting sentences meaninglessly with “so”. “So do you come here often?” “So how’s it going?” I found it very difficult. So means therefore (or as an adverb to mean a great extent: “She’s so sexy”) but we have slipped into using that little conjunction to lubricate conversation, or maybe to slyly imply that some internal conversation has already been going on between us and here’s my comment out loud. It’s replaced “well” which was used the same way in the mid-to-late 20th century (“Well it came down to earth and it lit in a tree…”).

2. is is. This is a problem with instinctive use of a noun clause. “The problem is is that he made a mistake” is wrong of course, but I hear it all the time. “What the problem is is that he made a mistake” is okay. In the first one the noun clause is “that he made a mistake” and the first “is” is the verb, so there’s no need for that second “is”. That he made a mistake is what the problem is. In the second example there are two noun clauses, “What the problem is” and “that he made a mistake”. The second is is the necessary verb, a similar example of which is this sentence.

3. No problem (instead of “you’re welcome”). You know, it never crossed my mind that there could be some problem when I thanked you for doing your job properly or saying something nice to me. I even prefer the time-honoured Americanism of a simple affirmative here: “Yes ma’am”.

4. a couple (no of). “I brush my teeth a couple times a day” just doesn’t make sense. There are lots of situations where we drop unnecessary little words or flourishes, but I think this one came through “a coulpla” and for some reason the further shortening for me is particularly irritating, sloppy, and disrespectful of good verbal sense.

5. begging the question. This is properly a logic error where an argument presumes the truth of a question in issue rather than supporting it. “My fries taste better than yours because yours have worse flavour” for example. I almost never hear this used correctly, and quite well-educated lovely people use it to mean that something in issue invites (begs) us to ask a subsequent question. What bothers me isn’t that their meaning isn’t clear, but that using that phrase that way falsely implies familiarity with philosophy of logic. That people who use it wrongly only look like fools to a diminishing number of archaic pedants only makes things worse.

6. uptalk. We still hear examples of this embarrassment: finishing statement sentences  as though they were followed by a question mark. “So I went over to his place? And like I knew he was in there? But he wouldn’t answer the door? So I busted it open?” etc. It’s as if we are looking for agreement from the listener or trying to be sure he is paying attention. I hear newscasters or other professional talkers doing this at times to an extent I can’t believe, and keep waiting for them to end a concluding sentence by dropping their voice. Most of the time they do.

7. Singsong or sardonic tone in newscasters. This one is hard to describe accurately in prose but once you realize what the speaker is doing it’s either laughable or enormously annoying. The singsong tone is information rendered with the opposite of uptalk, dropping the voice with the same false emphasis at the end of each sentence. I wonder what kind of announcer these people are trying to sound like. The sardonic tone for me is even worse, and I don’t think these young people doing this even realize they are doing it. It’s a whineyness where the talker is offering straightforward statements as if they deserved to be mocked, using the penultimate emphasis of a querulous child: “The prime minister said he’d been TOLD about it. He indicated it didn’t MAT-ter. He told the house nobody CARES about that.” (I’m afraid you might have to hear an audio tape of this to get what I’m referring to…).



About John Sloan

John Sloan is a senior academic physician in the Department of Family Practice at the University of British Columbia, and has spent most of his 40 years' practice caring for the frail elderly in Vancouver. He is the author of "A Bitter Pill: How the Medical System is Failing the Elderly", published in 2009 by Greystone Books. His innovative primary care practice for the frail elderly has been adopted by Vancouver Coastal Health and is expanding. Dr. Sloan lectures throughout North America on care of the elderly.
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